Let’s get one thing straight when it comes to habits and goals.
No one needs to spend their life in a self- imposed authoritarian prison. You don’t need to develop a host of habits that sound good on the surface but don’t really improve the quality of your life.
Tweet ThisWhy do you set goals? Have you ever thought about that?
Why do you have a giant list of things you want to accomplish? The goals you think that, if achieved, will give you that life you are looking for?
What are your Whys that ultimately drive your decisions and goal making?
There are many reasons that people pursue goals.
Goal setting is generally focused on life improvement that we believe will make us happier. It usually comes down to that very human desire to want to live the best life we can.
Our goals usually involve our careers and money, our relationships with others, our health- both mind and body. Goal setting also involves various other items that tie back to those major goals.
Pursuing goals is usually a worthwhile endeavor; however it does have the potential to be unhealthy.
This is especially true if it is tied to feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. It is even worse if we are using material or extrinsic accomplishments to define our value.
As you ponder your list of goals, it is important to note the “whys” associated with each.
Let’s examine a few typical goals to demonstrate where the line crosses from healthy to unhealthy.
What does time mean to you?
Wake Early
Healthy: When you are waking early to spend the time on yourself and on activities to help you achieve a more organized, balanced life
Unhealthy: When you think that is what successful people do, but end up miserable because you have no plan for what to do with that time
Eat Healthy
Healthy– When you are doing it to achieve your best physical condition so your current and future health won’t be an impediment to your enjoyment of life
Unhealthy: When you are trying to join the latest fad or craze. When you are eating healthy to prove your choices are superior to others
Exercise Regularly
Healthy: When you are aiming to maximize your physical conditioning and lengthen your healthy and active phase of life
Unhealthy: When you are chasing unrealistic or extremely superficial goals for weight loss and appearance
Achieve a clean, de-cluttered home
Healthy: When you are trying to keep a clean space for your family to live comfortably and want to reduce your possessions and your cleaning time
Unhealthy: When you want to appear to be perfect by controlling your external environment
Maintain good relationships
Healthy: When you derive your pleasure from spending meaningful time with those you know and love
Unhealthy: When you are overly focused on popularity and “numbers” of relationships or use your relationships as a means of avoiding spending time with yourself in reflection
Make more money
Healthy: When you want to use that money to achieve freedom, gain stability, to better your life and the life of others or when you want to leave a legacy for your family
Unhealthy: When you use money as a yardstick to measure your worth or to compare yourself against others
Achieve Career Growth
Healthy: When your career growth is in line with your desire for mastery of meaningful work
Unhealthy: When you tie your career growth to your happiness or sense of individual self-worth. When you are trying to compete with others
I could go on and on with these examples, but the message I am trying to send is that we need to examine our whys. My list is not definitive nor exhaustive, but you get the gist. Make sure your goals are healthy and not overly tied to the superficial.
Chasing unhealthy, superficial goals will leave you miserable. You will have a life where you are always after that unattainable carrot at the end of a stick.
It is important to have goals, but we cannot allow ourselves to get lost in the journey. We need to maintain that knowledge that we are worthy of a good life as is. We just intrinsically are.
Happy.
You will not feel or be any more worthy or happy when you have achieved all your goals. You will just find new pursuits and new mountains to climb. According to the theory of hedonistic adaptation, you will likely return to your baseline level of happiness after the thrill of achieving a new goal has worn off.
Even so, let’s celebrate the fact that we are normal, goal setting humans. But let’s also aim for that balance that will enable us to look forward to achieving our goals AND to enjoy the awesomeness that we are right now!
Life is good today. It is full of opportunities to enjoy and be happy in the here and now.
Have you thought of your goals and your whys? Are they in line with healthy objectives? Take some time to think of that today!
The post How to Identify When Your Goals are Unhealthy appeared first on Afford a Life.